Making the best out of a bad situation

You may read my last few posts and think "my god that sounds awful", and yes it can be. But that doesn't mean it is all bad. I was once asked if I could find a way to go back and prevent myself from developing Chronic Fatigue Syndrome, would I do it? You are thinking the clear answer is yes. What insane person would choose to go through something so awful?

Well after a minute or so of careful thinking, I replied no. No, I would not prevent myself from developing this horrible illness.

At this point you may be thinking that I am completely insane, perhaps you are right. But before you decide for definite, hear me out.

My reason for that answer was simple. Before I got ill my biggest problems were things like not being able to buy the pair of shoes I saw in the shop and had decided I must have, or that the boy I fancied didn't feel the same about me. Since experiencing all the things that come along with Chronic Fatigue Syndrome I have realised that these issues are nothing compared to some of the things that other people go through. Who would be worrying about what shoes they own when they can't even get out of bed in the morning? Not me that's for sure!

Basically, going through issues everyday which the average, healthy person would dread, makes you put things into perspective. When you have to struggle just to complete the most basic things in your day to day life (getting out of bed, brushing your teeth, washing yourself, eating, etc.) things which once seemed important, no longer seem to be so.

Something which would mean hardly anything to someone without a serious illness, is something special to a Chronic Fatigue sufferer. I have had mornings where a polite bit of a chat from a delivery man has felt like the best present ever. You have to understand, often I spend day after day alone in my house, watching repeats on tv, eating the food I have kept close to the bed so I don't have to battle the stairs too often, and having a few naps. To you that delivery man may have seemed nosey, bothersome, or even rude. But to me he was a burts of fresh air in my otherwise mundane day.

It is so important not to stress over the small things, and to not take life for granted. I may get upset with those that have less problems than myself and who complain relentlessly, but I am well aware that there are those so much worse off than myself who would look at my problems and wish to trade places.

So basically, although I don't enjoy most of what comes with the illness, and I would be extremely happy for it to go away now I've endured it for a few years, I wouldn't like to give up the lessons I've learnt and the new perspective it has given me.